Pole Dancing with H
by Dark Kaneanite
Summary: A silly oneshot due to a bored muse


_A/N: This ties in with "This wasn't in the Job Description." You don't have to read that to get this, I just wanted to play with Twisted alittle bit more...Wow, that sounded really, really bad. Anyways, I only own Twisted, everyone else is property of WWE and themselves. Enjoy_

She really didn't want to go out, but somehow the other masseuse had talked her into it. Twisted wasn't one to go out and get trashed in public, she preferred her humiliation to occur in her own room if at all possible. But Scott had promised that it would just be them and the girls from makeup and wardrobe. She had dressed in a long black skirt and black halter top, her long blondish-brown hair had been left to fall in waves against her back and she only had light make up on. She didn't even bother to grab her purse. Scott had agreed to pay for any and all drinks if she agreed to go out with them.

Twisted had only been with the WWE for three days and other than The Undertaker, Randy Orton, and Jeff Hardy she hadn't met or seen any of the other guys. Not that she was complaining, the less meatheads she had to deal with before she permanently took over the Head Masseuse job for SmackDown/ECW the better. She was sitting in the hotel lobby waiting for Scott and the others, tapping her foot impatiently. Three other guests had already mistaken her for a prostitute and she was leaning towards castrating the next person to ask her how much for an evening of fun. Finally the elevator doors dinged open and Scott and two other women that she didn't know stepped out.

Scott spotted her and smiled, and Twisted had no doubt that he was mentally undressing her. She had nothing against Scott, but he really didn't take his job seriously. She plastered on a smile as the overpowering scent of Scott's cologne wrapped around her senses.

"You ready?"

"I guess, just remember, you're buying my drinks." She said as she poked him in the side playfully.

"In return for have one of the most beautiful women on my arm that's a paltry price to pay."

"_He's really over doing it. He has another thing coming if he thinks I'm going to put out._" She thought as they headed out and hailed a cab.

The four of them crammed themselves into the back and the mingling smells almost caused Twisted to lose her lunch. She suddenly remembered why she never went out, some people still believed that perfumes and cologne covered body odor. She rolled down the window and leaned as close to it as she could. Thankfully the ride wasn't long and with in five minutes they were standing at the door as the bouncer checked their ids. Twisted immediately headed over to the bar and ordered a Captain and Coke, telling the bartender to put it on Scott's tab. He grinned as she pointed Scott out to him and handed her her drink.

She took a long pull off of her drink and turned around so that she was leaning against the bar she scanned the crowd. Scott was in the middle of the dance floor with the two other women that they had came with. He looked like he was having a siezer and she snorted into her drink. As she downed one and started on another, she noticed that the bouncers were herding some of the other customers out.

"Hey barkeep what's going on?" She called over her shoulder.

"The WWE is in town and some of the wrestlers want a place to party where there aren't too many people around bugging them. They do it every time they're here."

"Great, I wanted to avoid the meatheads." She mumbled into her drink.

"What was that?" He asked.

"Nothing." She placed the now empty glass on the bar and waited for the barkeeper to place the new one in her hand.

"Hey there lady." Jeff Hardy drawled as he joined her at the bar. "Never thought I'd be seeing you here."

"Blame him." She pointed over at Scott as she took another swallow.

"What are you drinking?"

"Captain and Coke."

"That's a girly drink." Jeff said smiling as she glared at him.

"Well I am a girl."

"Bar keeper, two tequilas." He called.

"Mr. Hardy I don't think..."

"It's Jeff sweetheart...live a little. I promise I won't tell anyone that you were a bad girl." He smirked as he held the glass out to her.

"Fine, but my actions are on your head." She took the proffered drink and slammed it back, fighting to keep the grimace from her face as the alcohol burned its way down her throat.

Jeff followed suit and soon they four empty glasses a piece. They were leaning against the bar people watching and making up funny secernairos about the other guys.

"See...hic...John is using that stupid line about loosing his number...hic...and when it doesn't work he says that he works...hic...for Girls Gone wild...Now she's going to...yup there goes the shirt...hic...women suck!" Twisted said as Jeff held his stomach while he laughed.

"Hey Twist...wanna dance?"

"I dunno Rainbow Brite...can you dance?" She asked, trying to put a serious face on.

"Can you?"

"Is that a challenge Hardy boy?" She asked as she raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yes, yes it is."

"One more Tequila barkeep." Twisted called as she pushed away from the bar.

She grabbed the drink and walked over to the DJ and whispered something to him, then pointed over to the bar. Jeff seen her wink then work her way back to where he was standing. She swallowed her drink and handed it to Jeff before she climbed up on the bar. She pointed her finger at the DJ and the opening guitar riff of 'Talk Dirty to Me' by Poison started. Twisted teased the hem of her halter top until the smooth expanse of her stomach was visible. Then she dropped down to her knees and slowly worked her way back up, running her hands up her sides as she did so.

Someone cat called and she looked down to see Randy Orton smirking up at her. She raised her arms and turned around in place slowly as she grinned back. She started playing with the hem again this time taking up to the bottom of her breasts before she let it fall back down.

"Go on. You know you want to take it off." Randy called.

A minute later the top drifted down over his head, and he pulled it off with a large grin. Twisted hadn't worn a bra that night so she was bare chested in just her skirt as she continued to slowly move to the music. She started shaking her hips and turning slowly at the same time, the effect was a somewhat sloppy belly dance imitation. She dimly hear Randy ask John if he was getting all it, and shimmied out of her skirt, kicking it at John. As she stood there in her black thong and high heels she felt someone step up behind her. Large arms wrapped themselves around her and warm hands covered her breasts.

"I don't believe we've met." He said, his lips close to her ear.

"I know who you are sir...but you're right, we've never met. I'm Twisted Whispers, I'm the new Head Masseuse for Smack Down."

The person behind her started to sway, his hands moving from her breasts to her hips and moving her with him. She turned around and hooked her arms around his neck then wrapped her legs around his waist. At his in drawn breath she let go of his neck and bent backwards until her hands where flat against the cool wooden bar top. She felt hands on her back, pulling her back up until she was face to face with her dancing partner. She unhooked her legs and rubbed against him as she slid down. Then dropped to her knees and looked over her shoulder at Randy and John while she bit the tip of her finger.

"You are a naughty, naughty girl." He said as he grinned down at her and offered her his hand.

"And you are..." She took it and was in the middle of getting back to her feet when he was yanked off the bartop.

"A DEAD KING OF KINGS!!" Someone screeched.

Twisted didn't remember anything after that. When Hunter had been pulled away she lost her balance and fell forwards, striking her head against the wood. When she awoke the next morning her head pounded and she clawed her way to the bathroom and into a standing position. She squinted at her reflection and gingerly touched the goose egg on her forehead.

"Damn...what the hell did I do last night?"

"You got drunk and knocked yourself out."

Twisted yelps and turned around so fast that she lost her balance and fell against the tub, hitting the back of her head. Jeff was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She grouched as she got back to her feet.

"Someone had to make sure that you didn't choke on your own vomit. Yaknow Randy and John offered to stay."

"Uggg, they didn't...did they?"

"Nope."

"I am never drinking again."

"Sure...hey are you coming out with us again tonight?"

"Why?" She asked as she looked ways at him.

"Oh, no reason. Other than John wants to see you dance again."

"I'm going to kill John Cena."


End file.
